First Line of Defense

Occasionally, I find myself completely clueless.
I don't know how I am feeling, I don't know how to handle certain situations, I don't know what words to say, I don't know what's right or wrong. I wonder if there is something that I could have done differently, or if I could have handled certain situations in a more suitable way? Sometimes I'm clueless in how to make a relationship with someone, how to get through this last semester of my online classes, and how I am going to find the time to fold the heap of laundry that always makes itself present.
Occasionally I find myself at a complete loss.

So, who do I go to when I find myself in these situations? I usually go to first my husband, or my cute mom or dad. They always have great advice for me. I am so lucky to be able to be surrounded by so many wise people who can help me make positive decisions, and guide me towards a happy, and righteous living.

As I finished my morning prayers today, I rolled back into bed, and pulled out my scriptures where I opened to 2 Nephi 32:

8 And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.

It hit me like a stone wall.
Heavenly Father should be our very first line of defense. 

I usually pray to my Heavenly Father when I need him, but it usually seems like I use him as my last resort. Unfortunately, it also seems that I only pray to my Heavenly Father when I feel I need him.
Elder Bednar says:  "Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all of our doings, as we express heartfelt gratitude, and as we pray for others."

The more we pray, the more opportunities we have to better know and understand our Savior. With that knowledge comes faith.
When we have faith in Him, we will know that he grants knowledge to all those who ask, we come to know of our individual worth and the love that God has for us, and we come to know the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We come to trust our Savior's time table, and get to build a relationship with Him.

So, if you are facing a challenge in life, or finding yourself at a loss, instead of putting Siri, your spouse, your friend, or you parents your first line of defense, put the Savior there instead.
     Sincerely,

BYU Women's Conference 2015

My site is under construction, so pardon the constant changes and messiness:)

I had the incredible opportunity to speak at BYU Women's Conference this year. I was given the topic of "communicating with young adults." At first I thought the topic was going to be sooooo hard, but by the time I started actually writing my talk, I had so much information flowing out of my head that I couldn't fit it all in my time limit. I absolutely loved dedicating all of my spare thoughts to this talk for 4 months. It was exhausting, terrifying, and at times mind-numbing, but absolutely wonderful. Would I ever want to do it again? NO WAY, but I am so glad that this opportunity was made available for me.

First of all, I thought before this, that I was brave. Well, I'm not. I have never really felt like I get nervous in front of big groups. I went to hear my dear friend Lesa Ward share her incredible message in a room of almost 2,000 people. It was then that I realized there would be a little less than double that in the room I was presenting in (A.K.A the Smithfield House 3,700 seats). Recognizing how many people would be in my session felt like I was on The Screamer at Lagoon, spinning around and around and around and around and around, wondering if I was going to be able to hold my delicious carrot Jamba Juice down. Let me tell ya folks, I get nervous in front of big groups.

I have given sacrament talks before, and that kind of thing, but it was such a different experience speaking in Woman's Conference. I knew that just about every person in that room wanted to hear what I had to say, and were either struggling with a young adult, and/or hoping to learn more about the way that we young adults communicate. It was a lot of pressure, and so humbling to feel Heavenly Father guide my words in a way that I hope touched the hearts of the woman that were listening to me. 


I focused on three different points in my talk. Here is a very short, and brief outline:

The first is to Let Your Children Fly- In other words, don't be a mama bear. Let us learn from our mistakes, Let us grow and repent on our own. Let us turn our own weaknesses into strengths, and let us come to you when we need help. As parents of young adults, it is not so much your job to prevent, solve, or control our problems, but to help, lead, and guide us as we work out our problems.

The second, is my validation, invasion, manipulation, and communication guideline -
Validation; We NEED to be validated. It is vital for us to feel validated in our feelings, our concerns, our disappointments, our achievements, our dreams, our circumstances, and our efforts. Validation let's us know that you are genuinely interest and that you care about us in a non-invasive way.
Invasion; Having an added respect for privacy is an important part to having a functioning relationship with our parents. Invading our time, or space is a one way ticket to a ruined relationship. At that same time, I think clear privacy boundaries need to be set with you as parents as well.
Manipulation; None of us likes to be manipulated. All manipulation does is cause resentful feelings towards the person doing the manipulating. My parents have applied the saying "always and invitation, never and expectation" to our family, and it has helped my husband and my relationship with them flourish.
Communication; It is so important to have one on one, in person chats with us. Reach out to your young adult, and let them take their time to reach back to you. They may not come running in excitement at first, but eventually they will truly cherish the time they get to spend with you. It is also just as important to make meaningful memories with children.

Lastly, love your children with all your heart, and trust the Lord - One of the many blessings of being a covenant keeping member of the church, as stated by Sister Parkins, is that those we love will be spiritually safe, and spiritually prepared. I have personal experience of the truthfulness of this blessing! I have stepped far off the straight and narrow before and I know that because of the covenants that my parents had made in the Holy House of the Lord, I was kept safe.

When things get tough, which they will, give your child the love that they need, support them through thick and thin, always use kind words, pray for your relationship with them daily, and unconditionally trust that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us.


I loved this experience with all my heart, and am so grateful for the testimony that has come from it. Huge thanks to all those who support me through thick and thin:)

     Sincerely,