BYU Women's Conference 2015

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I had the incredible opportunity to speak at BYU Women's Conference this year. I was given the topic of "communicating with young adults." At first I thought the topic was going to be sooooo hard, but by the time I started actually writing my talk, I had so much information flowing out of my head that I couldn't fit it all in my time limit. I absolutely loved dedicating all of my spare thoughts to this talk for 4 months. It was exhausting, terrifying, and at times mind-numbing, but absolutely wonderful. Would I ever want to do it again? NO WAY, but I am so glad that this opportunity was made available for me.

First of all, I thought before this, that I was brave. Well, I'm not. I have never really felt like I get nervous in front of big groups. I went to hear my dear friend Lesa Ward share her incredible message in a room of almost 2,000 people. It was then that I realized there would be a little less than double that in the room I was presenting in (A.K.A the Smithfield House 3,700 seats). Recognizing how many people would be in my session felt like I was on The Screamer at Lagoon, spinning around and around and around and around and around, wondering if I was going to be able to hold my delicious carrot Jamba Juice down. Let me tell ya folks, I get nervous in front of big groups.

I have given sacrament talks before, and that kind of thing, but it was such a different experience speaking in Woman's Conference. I knew that just about every person in that room wanted to hear what I had to say, and were either struggling with a young adult, and/or hoping to learn more about the way that we young adults communicate. It was a lot of pressure, and so humbling to feel Heavenly Father guide my words in a way that I hope touched the hearts of the woman that were listening to me. 


I focused on three different points in my talk. Here is a very short, and brief outline:

The first is to Let Your Children Fly- In other words, don't be a mama bear. Let us learn from our mistakes, Let us grow and repent on our own. Let us turn our own weaknesses into strengths, and let us come to you when we need help. As parents of young adults, it is not so much your job to prevent, solve, or control our problems, but to help, lead, and guide us as we work out our problems.

The second, is my validation, invasion, manipulation, and communication guideline -
Validation; We NEED to be validated. It is vital for us to feel validated in our feelings, our concerns, our disappointments, our achievements, our dreams, our circumstances, and our efforts. Validation let's us know that you are genuinely interest and that you care about us in a non-invasive way.
Invasion; Having an added respect for privacy is an important part to having a functioning relationship with our parents. Invading our time, or space is a one way ticket to a ruined relationship. At that same time, I think clear privacy boundaries need to be set with you as parents as well.
Manipulation; None of us likes to be manipulated. All manipulation does is cause resentful feelings towards the person doing the manipulating. My parents have applied the saying "always and invitation, never and expectation" to our family, and it has helped my husband and my relationship with them flourish.
Communication; It is so important to have one on one, in person chats with us. Reach out to your young adult, and let them take their time to reach back to you. They may not come running in excitement at first, but eventually they will truly cherish the time they get to spend with you. It is also just as important to make meaningful memories with children.

Lastly, love your children with all your heart, and trust the Lord - One of the many blessings of being a covenant keeping member of the church, as stated by Sister Parkins, is that those we love will be spiritually safe, and spiritually prepared. I have personal experience of the truthfulness of this blessing! I have stepped far off the straight and narrow before and I know that because of the covenants that my parents had made in the Holy House of the Lord, I was kept safe.

When things get tough, which they will, give your child the love that they need, support them through thick and thin, always use kind words, pray for your relationship with them daily, and unconditionally trust that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us.


I loved this experience with all my heart, and am so grateful for the testimony that has come from it. Huge thanks to all those who support me through thick and thin:)

     Sincerely,